Nancy Schongalla

I believe most clients want to enjoy a life which includes meaning, balance, and solid relationships including with themselves. Self-understanding and self-compassion contribute to self-empowerment and a stable sense of well-being whether alone or with others. Feeling that your therapist "gets you" and likes you can make it safe to explore one's inner world and reflect on thoughts, emotions, default patterns and potential new behaviors. I draw on many approaches in counseling and trauma recovery, including a gentle connection with parts of the self which may have become shrill, avoidant, critical, rigid, perfectionistic or self-indulgent or otherwise self-protective due to past experiences, or perhaps genetic transmission. When the "worries" of parts are appreciated and the underlying traumas addressed, new energy, resilience and options become available. I find that sharing information about the brain offers reassurance and a sense of "no wonder". I also find that present-moment awareness of the body in counseling often brings surprising clarity, fresh metaphors, and therapeutic momentum. I am an ordained minister in the United Church of Christ and while I pray for clients and pray with the occasional client who requests this, my job is to support each person or couple on their unique path. Evangelism of any kind is never appropriate. My own struggles have deepened my compassion and wisdom but I do not let my experiences create "assumptions" in my work. As appropriate, I introduce strategies and practices for self-management, give homework, and help people stay accountable to their own longings, best intentions, creativity and passion, being curious with them about "action blocks". I work with lots of couples at all stages of relationships. I model curiosity and empathy for the emotions and needs which are not being seen, expressed or responded to-- the hurts, fears, and disappointments embedded in off-putting and protective behaviors. I help partners be safely vulnerable so they connect more deeply, treat each other better, and enjoy each other more.